


Lost and Found

by galerian_ash



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Angst, Crying, Drunkenness, Episode Related, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 10:08:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galerian_ash/pseuds/galerian_ash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of episode 16, Kotetsu comes to Barnaby to say goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://tiger-and-bunny.livejournal.com/104877.html), 2011-07-23.

The knots in Barnaby's stomach loosened upon seeing Kotetsu on his doorstep, only to tighten with a vengeance when he truly _looked_ at his partner. There was something off about Kotetsu's smile; a little too wide, too sharp. His face was pale, littered with small cuts and a darkly blooming bruise by his mouth — which had to be causing pain, smiling like that.

"Kotetsu," he said. "What's wrong?"

Something flickered in his eyes, before he averted them to calmly sidestep Barnaby and enter his apartment.

"Agnes told me you were busy. I called you as soon as I could, and when you didn't answer I swung by your place. Where were you?"

Kotetsu made an odd noise, a snorted chuckle that somehow managed to sound utterly devoid of mirth. "I'd apologize for not being there, but you handled it just fine on your own."

"Wha... That's not the point!" A few quick steps brought him close to Kotetsu, hand reaching out in an abortive movement.

"I met an old friend," Kotetsu said. "I couldn't just take off when the call came."

Barnaby just stared, speechless. It was a lie so blatant that he didn't know whether he should be offended or not. "A friend," he managed to repeat.

"Yeah."

"Can't be much of a friend, if he did that to you," Barnaby snapped, gesturing to Kotetsu's face.

"Huh? Oh, this... I took him drinking, and he didn't know when to stop. We got into a scuffle with some other guy. No big deal."

"And you couldn't have avoided the blow?! Even drunk, some remainder of basic training should-"

"Bunny," Kotetsu said, effectively cutting him off. "It doesn't matter. I'm here because I need to tell you something."

On that Christmas Eve, so many years ago, Barnaby had returned home without even the slightest inkling that he'd find his very life set ablaze. Now, a feeling of foreboding slammed into him hard enough that he almost found it hard to breathe.

"Hey, hey, what's with that face?" And there was that smile again; like an animalistic baring of teeth, lacking all the true emotion it should have. "It's not a bad thing," Kotetsu continued, "in fact, I hope you'll be happy for me."

Barnaby swallowed. "Then tell me."

For a split second, the smile wavered. "I'm going to quit being a Hero."

Funny, out of all the things his frantic mind had conjured up, that wasn't even on the list. "What are you saying?" he heard himself rasp.

Kotetsu turned away. His back was wide and tense — an impenetrable wall, no matter how Barnaby looked at it.

"It's time, I'm getting too old for this. I should be taking proper care of my daughter, and I... I want to lead a normal life."

"I don't believe you," Barnaby said. "You'd never — look, no matter what's wrong, we-"

"Nothing's wrong!" Kotetsu yelled. His shoulders slumped, anger disappearing as fast as it'd arrived. "Nothing," he repeated, voice quiet.

Barnaby's mind was spinning, trying to come up with an explanation. Was Kotetsu's family being held hostage? Forcing him to do and say these... these _lies_. But no, he'd always kept his identity a secret. And if it'd been one of the other Heroes in trouble, surely Barnaby would've been notified somehow.

Once again, it came down to trust.

"Why won't you tell me?" he whispered. "I thought..."

A tremor passed through Kotetsu's back, traveling down his arms all the way to his fisted hands.

Barnaby desperately wished he'd had more experience dealing with other people. He felt so clumsy and helpless, as if nothing he did was the right thing to do. He'd felt the same way at the party, seeing Kotetsu standing alone on that balcony. Opening up to Kotetsu had seemed like a good idea at the time; an indirect way of saying 'Hey, if I can trust you with this, then surely you can depend on me too?'

"Kotetsu," he tried, " _please_."

"Stop it! I'm sorry, Bunny — I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be. But it's over, I can't... I'm through with being a Hero, and there's nothing you can say to change my mind."

A cold feeling of numbness spread through Barnaby's gut. He welcomed it, gratefully. It was close enough to the indifference he'd felt before Kotetsu had torn down all his defenses, and a hundred times better than the hurt that'd been clawing at him moments before.

He turned away, staring out the window without seeing a single thing. "Understood. If that is what you want, I accept it. It makes no difference to me, anyway."

Silence, broken only by the soft footfalls that made it clear Kotetsu was leaving. Then came the click of the door opening, and the sound of a sharply indrawn breath.

"Goodbye, Barnaby. I was honored to be your partner. I wish..."

Something in his voice — and the words themselves — made Barnaby spin around. But it was too late; Kotetsu was pulling the door closed behind him, without so much as a backward glance. Whatever he'd meant to say, whatever it was he'd wished for, was lost forever.

A guttural scream tore its way from Barnaby's throat. He grabbed the nearest breakable item and hurled it at the closed door. The glass shattered into tiny pieces and he stood there, panting, for a long while, trying to quell the feeling of betrayal and loss.

Numbly, he stared at his feet as he walked forward. One step, another, yet more, and...

Blood. There was blood on his floor.

Barnaby frowned. It made no sense for there to be blood already, as he hadn't even begun picking up the broken glass yet. Kotetsu had been standing there right before he'd left, back turned and hands clenched.

...Hands clenched so tightly that they'd been shaking. Hard enough to draw blood; nails digging into the soft flesh of his palms.

Barnaby sprinted the last few steps to the door, wrenched it open, and raced out of the building.

Heart thudding painfully in his chest, he looked around the streets. People were all over the place, but Kotetsu was nowhere to be seen.

His partner was gone.

\----

Barnaby was at the end of his rope. Three days had passed since Kotetsu had come to him, and he'd spent every waking hour since searching for his partner. He was beginning to feel the way he'd had when he'd tried to hunt down Ouroboros — like every dead end he reached came one step closer to blowing out the weak candle of hope he nursed within.

It had started with Kotetsu's family. They'd been his first lead, since their home was the place Kotetsu had claimed he would go. But his mother had nothing but confusion to offer Barnaby; she'd heard nothing of the sort and wasn't expecting her son anytime soon.

Kotetsu didn't answer his phone, and his place seemed abandoned. Rock Bison knew nothing, nor did any of the other Heroes. Lloyds didn't take the news well, especially when Barnaby made it clear that — unless there was a major emergency — he'd be taking time off. Barnaby and Wild Tiger were a team, weren't they? End of story.

Now he was down to asking random people on the street, using the silly picture Kotetsu had taken of himself during Barnaby's photoshoot. He'd somehow never gotten around to deleting it.

The neon light from a bar's sign caught his attention. Kotetsu liked to drink, he knew that from experience, so it might be a good idea to branch out a bit. He left the busy street, relieved to find the bar dark and quiet.

"Excuse me," he called out to the bartender. "Have you seen this man?"

"This is a bar, not a lost-and-found center."

Biting down on his anger, Barnaby pulled out his wallet and slammed a couple of bills on the counter. "Could you look now, please?"

The bartender set aside the glass he'd been polishing to squint at the phone. "Yep."

"You... you have?"

The bartender sneered. "Unfortunately. He was in here last night. Wouldn't leave when we closed, had to more or less throw him out."

"Do you know where he went?"

"How should I know? Probably downtown, to one of those places that stay open 24/7." Judging by the way the bartender basically spat out the words, he didn't think very highly of those kinds of bars — or Kotetsu, for that matter.

But that was okay. Barnaby didn't exactly value his opinion. Only the pressing _need_ to find his partner as soon as possible kept him from making that abundantly clear.

He hurried from the bar, briefly debating whether or not to drive downtown. The risk of his car being vandalized or outright stolen was much greater there, than if he left it parked where it was. Having to waste time on something so insignificant wasn't something he cared to risk, and it wasn't that far to walk anyway.

He asked a couple of people on the way, one of them who claimed Kotetsu looked familiar. The first two places he looked in yielded nothing, and the small flame — fanned by the bartender's tip — started to fade once again.

The third bar he entered could only be described as seedy. And even that was an understatement; Barnaby felt grubby just being in there. Still, it was the perfect place to go if you wanted solitude — dark and more or less deserted, with the few people who _were_ there clearly emitting an aura of give-me-booze-and-leave-me-alone.

He'd taken a few steps towards the counter when a familiar figure caught his eye.

Kotetsu was sitting in a corner booth, slumped over the table and idly toying with a half-empty bottle. As Barnaby watched, the bottle slipped from his fingers to spill amber liquid onto the floor. Kotetsu let out a low giggle before he brought the bottle to his lips, foregoing his glass.

Heart racing, Barnaby walked up to him.

Bleary eyes turned his way, and then — to his great surprise — a wide grin spread over Kotetsu's face.

"Bunny!" he exclaimed. "Come join me! Don't know if they have that rosé stuff you like, but-"

"I'm not here to drink," Barnaby bit out.

Kotetsu's face fell. "Oh," he said, voice small.

"We're leaving. Get up, please."

For a second it looked like he was going to protest. Then, he slowly got to his feet. Barnaby's hand shot out to steady him as he immediately wobbled, close to pitching headfirst to the ground.

"Sorry," he mumbled, apology belied by his giggling.

Barnaby grit his teeth. He half carried, half dragged his drunken partner out of the bar. He'd hoped the night air would clear Kotetsu's head, but if anything his ability to walk actually deteriorated.

"Where are we going? Is it far? My leg hurts," Kotetsu whined.

Barnaby regretted leaving the car behind. He hesitated, not sure if he should go ahead and simply _carry_ Kotetsu — it'd save Barnaby the hassle of trying to keep him on his feet, but...

Hesitation was erased when he realized Kotetsu's words had been in earnest. He was limping; favoring his left leg with a stiffness that implied that it wasn't a case of one leg hurting, but rather one leg hurting more than the other.

Barnaby carefully bent down to scoop Kotetsu into his arms. It felt like he'd lost weight — he knew it was hard to judge reliably though, since Kotetsu had been wearing his suit the last time Barnaby had carried him. Still, he felt... smaller, somehow.

"What happened to your leg?"

"Fell," Kotetsu said as he made himself comfortable. A pair of arms were thrown around Barnaby's neck, and Kotetsu's head came to lean on his shoulder.

It was... distracting, to say the least. His running joke of Kotetsu's resemblance to a princess seemed like something he ought to say, even if just to get the typical bluster from Kotetsu. But no, he didn't feel like kidding around. "Then perhaps you shouldn't drink to the point where you can't remain upright," he said instead, harsh and biting.

"Nah, I didn't fall 'cause I was _drunk_. It happened before."

Frowning, Barnaby shifted Kotetsu's dead weight before answering. "How did you fall?"

"That's a secret," Kotetsu slurred.

He'd had every intention of dragging Kotetsu back to his apartment to get some answers, one way or another. But with Kotetsu drunk out of his mind, it seemed like he'd have to abandon that plan.

"Forget it," Barnaby grumbled. "Let's just get you home, old man."

The body in his arms stiffened — completely different from the boneless, relaxed sprawl Kotetsu had been in mere seconds before.

"Kotetsu?"

"...Don't take me back there. I can't stand being alone in that house — not now. Please, Bunny."

The arms around Barnaby's neck tightened in a beseeching gesture as fever-hot, dry lips grazed his skin.

An accident, surely — or maybe just a drunken man's mistake. Either way, Barnaby couldn't afford to read anything into it. He pushed down on the emotions he'd so carefully been keeping in check, and tried to focus.

Kotetsu was speaking again, and the words helped ground him. "I know I have no right to ask you to stay with me. I'm sorry, Bunny, I..." he trailed off, plaintive voice fading into silence.

"Hey," Barnaby said, gripping Kotetsu a bit harder, "I wasn't planning on leaving. But we can go to my apartment instead, okay?"

"You're a great friend," Kotetsu mumbled, a note of sadness still remaining in his voice. "The best partner I could've gotten. I hope..."

"Hm? What do you hope?" Barnaby asked. He could see the car now, which was a relief — his arms were starting to get tired.

"I hope your next partner appreciates you."

Barnaby stopped walking. "My next partner," he repeated, flatly.

"Yeah. They'll replace me, won't they?"

Furious, Barnaby stalked forward. "I can't force you to be my partner if you don't want to," he snarled, "but if you honestly think I'd accept someone else — then you don't know me at all. It's you or no one."

Kotetsu's breath hitched, sending staccato puffs of warm air against his throat. "I don't want to quit," he choked out.

Like a fist to the gut, Barnaby realized that Kotetsu's drunkenness might in fact be his greatest ally. He'd thought they couldn't talk like this, but that was all wrong. The alcohol made things slip through, things Kotetsu hadn't been able to get out before.

It felt underhanded to take advantage of the situation, but if Kotetsu didn't have enough faith in him to confide while sober, then he would use whatever dirty and dishonorable methods he had to. If a few more days without finding his partner had gone by, desperation would've even made him willing to break into Kotetsu's house — something he hadn't be able to bring himself to do earlier, as it felt like an irreparable breach of trust.

But this wasn't the place to talk. They needed privacy, needed to get off the street and away from the curious stares they'd been garnering.

"Hold on," he said as he unlocked the car. "We'll be at my place in no time, and then we can talk."

Kotetsu didn't reply, only offering a hiccup when Barnaby gently deposited him into the passenger seat and fastened his seatbelt.

"Just hold on," he repeated, feeling awkward and utterly useless. He squeezed Kotetsu's shoulder before ducking out of the car and closing the door. A deep breath, and then he hurried around to drive home.

Kotetsu dozed off within a matter of minutes. Even in his sleep, he looked miserable — huddled against the door with a furrowed brow, and the corners of his mouth pulled down.

"We'll fix this," Barnaby whispered, more to himself than to Kotetsu.

He spent the rest of the drive stealing glances at his sleeping partner, while pushing the speed limit. Kotetsu didn't wake up when he stopped the car, or when Barnaby lifted and carried him up to the apartment.

Kotetsu was clearly exhausted, and should be allowed to get some rest. But Barnaby forced himself to be cold, striding past the bedroom to instead set him down on the chair. Beside them, Sternbild glittered in the dark.

Barnaby reached out and shook Kotetsu awake. "Sorry," he said, "but we need to talk."

Brown eyes slowly focused on him. "Bunny?"

"I'm here."

The nap had apparently made Kotetsu more maudlin, for his face twisted — misery etched in his entire being. "Why?" he growled. "Why couldn't you just leave it be?!"

"We're a team," Barnaby snapped, somewhat taken aback. "You can't just... You're my _partner_."

"I can't be your partner anymore!"

"Why not? Don't lie to me this time."

Kotetsu's eyes narrowed, anger slowly draining from them. He slumped back onto the chair, letting out a shaky breath. "I'm losing my powers."

The world screeched to a halt. "...What?"

"My Hundred Power doesn't even last four minutes now, and every time I activate it I lose more seconds."

Barnaby leaned against the table, unable to stand upright on his own. "I can't believe this..."

"That's why I didn't want to tell you," Kotetsu mumbled. "You didn't need another bad break. I'm so sorry, Bunny."

Baffled, Barnaby could only stare. Finally, he found the words. "Don't apologize, this isn't your fault! And I — how could you possibly think that lying about it in such a manner would be a better idea?"

Kotetsu winced. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, I truly did. But it kept getting harder; each time you thought I let you get the points, when in fact I'd merely run out of time... I didn't want to _disappoint_ you."

"I wish you'd had more faith in me than that."

"I trust you with my life," Kotetsu said, an edge of desperation to his voice. "I swear, it's not about that. I stubbornly fooled myself into believing I could still do it, that I could somehow remain a Hero. And I... I was trying to make things easier — for both of us. If you thought I took off for selfish reasons you'd hate me for a while, and then move on with your life. But if I stayed, you'd be forced to watch me fade into nothing. I can't do that to you, Bunny, I-"

Barnaby understood. Didn't mean he agreed with Kotetsu's decision, nor that he didn't blame himself for not being stronger — but he did understand. "It's okay," he sighed. "Let's focus on the real problem."

Kotetsu's eyes widened before he looked away, blinking rapidly.

"Who's been examining you?"

"Nobody. You're the only person I've told."

Barnaby felt like screaming. "There is a limit to being stoic and suffering in silence, old man! Even _I_ know that. We're going to see Saito first thing in the morning."

Kotetsu hesitated, but finally acquiesced with a terse nod.

"From now on, no more secrets."

Silence. Then, haltingly, "Do you know what made me realize I had to quit?" Without waiting for an answer, Kotetsu continued speaking — voice raw. "Someone died because of me."

"What happened?" Barnaby took care to keep his voice calm and steady.

"The man that Lunatic killed the other night, I found him first. He was about to kill a woman on a rooftop, and I tried to stop him — that's why I couldn't come, when Agnes called."

"The woman...?"

"No, not her. She got away. But my power gave out in the middle of the fight, and he got the better of me. Last thing he said before kicking me off the cable car, was that I shouldn't be a Hero if I couldn't even defeat a normal human."

Barnaby knew the man was dead. Still didn't change the fact that he wanted to hunt him down and break his neck.

"I was lucky. I would've fallen to my death if it weren't for the dumpster I landed in. Imagine that — a worn out, worthless Hero landing in the _trash_. Like a cosmic joke, don't you think?" Kotetsu laughed, a hollow and horrible sound.

"I'm sorry," Barnaby whispered, the words escaping his mouth without conscious thought.

"Huh? What for?"

"For not catching you. I should've been there."

Kotetsu looked like he wanted to cry. Biting his lower lip, he shook his head. "I regained consciousness the next morning. I heard the news playing in the distance, heard that Lunatic had killed the man I failed to bring to justice."

"Kotetsu..."

"He died because I was in denial. Because I couldn't accept that I should quit, he-"

"He was a murderer! He killed several women, and he did his best to kill you as well." Barnaby knew how Kotetsu felt about the sanctity of life, but this was just ludicrous. For that excuse of a human being to be the one to have brought Kotetsu so low, it was just...

Apparently unable to hold back the tears any longer, Kotetsu began to cry in earnest. "I _have_ to quit, I know that now. But I don't want to, I can't — it's not just a job to me! Without it, I... I wouldn't know who I am."

Barnaby could only look on as his partner broke down. Sobs racked his entire body, sounding like they were being torn from somewhere deep within him. Each one met with an echoing pain in Barnaby's chest.

His eyes were stinging, and it felt like there was something stuck in his throat. But he couldn't allow himself to give in; he had to stay strong, had to be there for Kotetsu. The problem was just that he had no experience with situations like this; didn't know what to do to help. All he knew was that he wanted Kotetsu to stop crying. It was all that mattered right now — an acute _need_ overshadowing everything else.

A long time ago, he'd seen his parents arguing. It was a long, drawn-out fight that'd lasted for what felt like an eternity to his childish eyes. His mother had been crying, mascara smeared down her cheeks. Finally, his father had pulled her close and kissed her. The contact had silenced both the tears and the argument, and Barnaby remembered watching as they'd stood, hugging, seeming even closer to each other than before.

It was all he had to go on; all he could offer. Moving forward to kneel by the chair, he reached out to slip a hand around Kotetsu's neck. Fingers tangled in his hair, stroking slowly as he waited for Kotetsu to meet his gaze. Red-rimmed eyes finally met his, spiked lashes glistening wet.

He didn't pull back, and that was all the permission Barnaby needed.

Kotetsu's lips were salty, shaking as a final sob made its way up his throat. Barnaby opened his mouth and tangled their tongues together, catching the despaired sound and turning it into something else. Kotetsu's hands fisted in his shirt, trying to pull him up. Barnaby followed the tug, getting up to straddle the chair.

Beneath him, Kotetsu let out a low moan. Arms encircled his waist, pulling him down for another kiss.

"Bunny, please," he gasped as Barnaby licked a path down his throat. A bruise just below his collarbone received a soft kiss before Barnaby sucked a hickey over it.

Kotetsu's hand found its way beneath his shirt, nails digging into his back. " _Please_ ," he repeated.

There was nothing Barnaby wasn't willing to give, but he didn't know what Kotetsu was asking for. His back arched as Barnaby finished unbuttoning the shirt, running a hand up his abs to tweak a nipple.

Through the haze, something slowly registered. Kotetsu was moving his hips, rubbing a distinct hardness against his leg. Finally understanding what he was begging for, Barnaby reached down.

Instantly, Kotetsu returned the favor. His pants and boxers were pushed low, as a warm hand — almost searing — began stroking him.

Panting, he tipped forward to bury his head in the crook of Kotetsu's neck. Those warm fingers shifted, bringing them together.

For Barnaby, that was the final straw. He spent his release, splattering it over Kotetsu's heaving stomach. A shudder passed through the body beneath him, and an accompanying wetness joined the puddle already there.

His arms were about to give out, shaking and unable to hold him up for much longer. He meant to crawl off the chair, but Kotetsu yanked him down before he'd had a chance to move. He grimaced as the mess coated his stomach as well.

He more felt than saw Kotetsu snicker. "No fair if only I get dirty."

Too tired to answer, Barnaby just smiled.

\----

Barnaby woke up alone.

Sometime during the night, they'd made their way to the bed. He remembered slipping into an easy slumber on the chair, until Kotetsu had woken him — complaining about being crushed under Barnaby's weight.

They'd both been too tired to properly shower, instead using Barnaby's shirt (deemed a lost cause) to wipe up the worst of the mess on their bodies. They'd tumbled into bed, a wide grin on Kotetsu's face as he'd declared it to be exactly what his poor, abused back needed.

Barnaby had laughingly teased him about sounding like an old man, and Kotetsu had answered by kissing him breathless. 'Can an old man do _that_?' he'd asked, smirking.

Sleep had come in between slow kisses. He could still feel the lingering warmth from the arms that had held onto him.

But now his partner was gone. An icy feeling of dread crept up his spine. It couldn't be...

"Kotetsu?" he called. Perhaps he'd just woken up earlier than Barnaby, and decided to take the shower they'd skipped last night.

No answer came.

He got out of the bed and pulled on his clothes, trying to push down the frantic emotions that were starting to rear their ugly heads. A quick look around the apartment confirmed his fears; Kotetsu had left.

Without thinking he began running. It felt like it was happening all over again, Kotetsu coming to him to say goodbye. But now it felt final, like the flame of hope was extinguished — he wouldn't be able to find his partner this time.

He slammed the building's entrance doors open and rushed out, blindly — only to smack into someone and stumble back.

"Bunny? What are you...?"

Kotetsu was standing there, holding a bag of what appeared to be groceries in his arms. A sheepish smile was curving his lips, and he wouldn't quite meet Barnaby's eyes. "Ah, sorry," he said, "I borrowed your key without asking. I wanted to make breakfast, but there was nothing in your fridge."

To Barnaby's great horror he felt tears rising in his eyes.

A normal person would've pretended not to see, perhaps even turned away to give him some modicum of privacy. But not Kotetsu. No, Kotetsu was the kind of man who'd drop everything he was holding to hurry forward and throw his arms around Barnaby — completely uncaring that they were making quite a scene.

It was a tight embrace, making it difficult to breathe. Kotetsu's arms rubbed his back soothingly, as he mumbled nonsensical apologies and reassurances.

"I thought you'd left," Barnaby sniffed. His arms slowly lifted to return the hug.

"I did," Kotetsu said, turning his head to nuzzle Barnaby's wet cheek. "I did leave. But you found me."


End file.
